How to Navigate Overwhelm

Picture this: sitting in her cosy apartment in Bristol is Jane, a self-employed graphic designer running her own creative agency. During our session, as Jane looks at me through the computer screen, her expression shifts, her body collapses, and her emotions become evident. “I’m overwhelmed, I don’t know what to do, I feel I’m drowning”.

Despite the freedom and autonomy that come with being her own boss, Jane faces incessant challenges. The constant need to secure clients, meet project deadlines, and stay abreast of industry trends creates a high-pressure environment. The responsibility of managing her business finances, marketing her services, and staying competitive in a dynamic market adds an extra layer of stress. Adding to the challenges is her family's traditional outlook, which includes expectations about career choices, financial stability, and family life. This puts pressure on her to settle down and create a family of her own. Jane is exhausted and inundated by the expectations, goals, and to-do lists. “Is it ever going to stop? – Jane asks. – Am I ever going to feel relieved and happy?” – her voice trembles with despair. Does it sound familiar? 

The Impact of Overwhelm

Let's be real – overwhelm hits hard. It's like a fog that clouds our minds, making decisions and daily tasks feel like climbing a mountain, or like a rollercoaster ride. The twists and turns, the stomach-dropping moments. It's more than just a tough day; it's feeling paralysed and drained, like you've been caught in a rainstorm without an umbrella. Recognising this impact is the first step to embracing a more loving relationship with ourselves.

Self-Care as an Act of Self-Love

When you notice yourself caught in the storm of overwhelm, turn to self-care. This might mean slowing down, which is often the opposite of what we “want to do” when facing an endless list of to-do’s and urgent matters. But self-care isn't a luxury; it's a lifeline. Taking a moment to recharge isn't selfish; it's an act of love. It's about breaking free from the cycle of overwhelm and saying, "Hey, I matter, too." It's crucial for recharging and approaching challenges with a smile, or at least a determined grin.

Recognising and Acknowledging Feelings

Ever felt like you're drowning in a sea of emotions? It's okay – we all have. The key is not to fight it. Let those feelings wash over you, acknowledge them, and give yourself permission to feel. No need to resist; just sit together for a moment. And even though resisting the feelings and urgently “getting back to shape” or “efficiency” is our go-to reaction, allowing the feelings to be fully experienced is, paradoxically, the shortest (or at least the most long-lasting) way to be “back to normal”. Emotions are beautifully human, even if we’re conditioned to think they are inferior to will or “productivity”.

Dealing with Multiple Issues Simultaneously

Ever feel like you're juggling flaming torches? I get it. Break down the chaos into bite-sized pieces, tackle one thing at a time, and maybe the overwhelm will lose its grip. It's like mastering the art of juggling without setting everything ablaze. It might feel uncomfortable at the beginning but it’s ok. Doing things differently is supposed to be uncomfortable – you're learning, forming new neuropathways, and stepping out of your comfort zone. Not all things that are good for us “feel good”. Embrace the discomfort of allowing yourself to pause, choose one task, and dedicate your energy to it completely. It will need practice but it is worth it. 

Choosing Priorities

In a world demanding everything at once, choose wisely. Pick a task, pour your energy into it, and relish the satisfaction of completion. It's not about doing it all; it's about doing one thing well. When you don’t know what and how to choose – focus on your values and the importance of what you need to do, rather than the urgency. Accept that your mind may wander to other subjects and tasks, tempting you to rush or cut corners. Be kind to those thoughts and stay on your course. Stay mindful. 

Kindness and Compassion Towards Yourself

When your mind is racing and you feel the pressure of immediate action, make sure that your body is taken care of. Tending to our bodies (that often react to the racing mind by tensing and contracting, making dealing with our tasks even more difficult and draining) helps open our minds. Imagine your body as a cherished friend. Is it warm and comfy? Does it need a bit of TLC? Start there. Shower yourself with kindness and compassion. Redirect your focus to the present moment; it's where your power lies.

Mindful Breaks

Self-compassion and present-moment awareness are your allies when you want to stay focused in the midst of the “overwhelm challenge”. Take a moment, breath by breath. Inhale for four, exhale for six – a simple rhythm to bring calm. Redirect your focus to what's in front of you. Small steps can lead to monumental shifts.

Being in nature helps to gain distance and replenish energy, so why not go for a walk? However, if you cannot spare enough time for a walk, consider taking at least a few minutes for a break. Shake off the overwhelm with a two-minute dance, a jump, or a stretch. It's not procrastination; it's a reset button for your mind. It's a break that rejuvenates, not exhausts.

Acknowledging Difficulty

Let's be real again – life is hard. Acknowledge the struggle; admit it's difficult. In those moments, you're not weak; you're practising self-love. It's okay not to have it all figured out.

Reflecting on Progress

Celebrate the small victories, no matter how tiny. But even more importantly – recognise and acknowledge your efforts. You’ve worked all day on something that didn’t work out in the end? It sucks but it happens, instead of beating yourself about it, admit that you showed up to yourself in the best possible way because you care. Reflection isn't about perfection; it's about growth. Recognise your journey, appreciate your efforts, and keep moving forward.

Seeking Help

Strength isn't doing it all alone; it's recognising when you need support. Whether it's a friend, family, or a professional, reaching out is a testament to your resilience. If you're not used to it, reaching out may feel awkward and uncomfortable, bringing various doubts and thoughts. It is ok. Remember, trying to do things differently is what helps you grow and find solutions, not sticking to rigid ideas about yourself.

And What About You?

How do you handle overwhelm? Share your stories, your tips, and your wisdom in the comments. This space is a haven for us to support each other.

[I have changed the name and characteristics of my client in the example to protect their confidentiality.]